Codependency & Attachment Therapy in Colts Neck, NJ

Codependency is not about being too loving — it is about losing yourself in the process of loving someone else. It often develops quietly in childhood as a way of surviving an unpredictable or emotionally unavailable environment, and it shapes the way you show up in every relationship as an adult. If you find yourself constantly prioritizing others at the expense of your own needs, terrified of abandonment, or defining your self-worth by whether others are happy with you, you are not weak — you are someone whose nervous system learned that love was conditional.

At Dr. Dana Spada Psychotherapy, we help you understand your attachment patterns, reclaim your sense of self, and build relationships rooted in genuine connection rather than fear.

Codependency and attachment issues can show up in many ways. Dr. Spada supports clients navigating:

• Anxious Attachment: Intense fear of abandonment, clinginess, and hypervigilance in relationships
• Avoidant Attachment: Emotional distancing, difficulty with vulnerability, and fear of true closeness
• Disorganized Attachment: Simultaneously craving and fearing intimacy — often rooted in early trauma
• Caretaking Compulsion: Chronic over-responsibility for others' emotions and wellbeing
• Boundary Deficits: Difficulty saying no, setting limits, or even identifying your own needs
• Identity Enmeshment: Loss of a clear sense of self outside of your relationships
• People Pleasing: Compulsive accommodation of others at the cost of your own truth and wellbeing
• Fear of Conflict: Avoiding necessary conversations to preserve peace at any price

Dr. Spada helps clients understand the origins of their attachment patterns and develop the tools to build more secure, fulfilling relationships — starting with the relationship with themselves.

Her integrative approach uses Psychodynamic Therapy to explore the childhood roots of codependent patterns, CBT to challenge the beliefs keeping you stuck in codependent cycles, DBT for boundary-setting and interpersonal effectiveness, Somatic Therapy to reconnect with your own needs and body signals, and Mindfulness to cultivate self-awareness and self-compassion as the foundation of healthier relating.